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Understandably the dying person may be mentally and emotionally distressed especially when they are cognitively alert near the end of life. They may also have very specific fears and concerns, for example, worrying about being alone at the end or a fear of the unknown and leaving their loved ones behind. This fear can be made worse when family and friends do not know how to help or what to say and may even stop visiting adding to the person’s sense of isolation. Sometimes doctors feel a sense of helplessness as they cannot cure the person and can seem to avoid the dying person. Things to think about If the person is highly anxious and depressed it is important to treat the emotional pain and suffering. Talk to their doctor about what can be offered. You might want to contact a counsellor, ideally one familiar with end-of-life issues. If the depression or anxiety is severe…

The signs of death approaching will be different for each person. It is difficult to predict what may happen at the end of life, how long the final stage of dying will last, or when death will actually happen. Death may come quickly due to an unexpected event or the final dying process may happen slowly with the person you care for lingering. The following signs are examples of what may happen to the person you care for and who is dying. Some may or may not happen, but it can be useful to know about them. Body changes very weak and unable to get out of bed needing help with all personal care loss of interest in food and may have little food or fluid intake for days the mouth becomes very dry and/or mucus collects at the back of the mouth trouble taking medication, swallowing tablets sudden movements of muscles, twitching or jerking (terminal restlessness caused…

Here’s a summary of how you and the person you care for can work together to get their financial affairs in order in preparation for end of life. It explores what funding sources are out there to support the person you care for, as well as you as their carer. Getting financial affairs in order can be very helpful to the person you care for as it gives them the opportunity to take control of something when their life has been turned upside down. It will also help you as their carer and other family members to deal with their financial affairs after their death during a very difficult and emotional time. “Getting financial affairs in order” will mean different things to different people but generally speaking it will involve you helping the person you care for to do the following: Put all important papers and copies of legal documents in one place. Help the person you care…

Here’s a quick guide for planning end of life care with the person you care for. It explores the importance of taking a planned approach and highlights a number of ways in which, together, you can make an advance plan whilst the person you care for has the mental capacity to make their own decisions. When the person you care for has a terminal illness, it can be an especially difficult time for you too. It will be physically and emotionally demanding with lots of practical things to think about. You and the person you care for may not feel like planning ahead, but there are a number… what is important to them, you, and wider family in relation to end of life care. The person you care for may assume that if they are unable to make a decision about their own care and treatment because they lack mental capacity, those close to them such as yourself can make decisions on their behalf…

You and/or the person you care for may find it easier to ask a professional to be involved in discussions about death. Or it might be simply having the professional there that will give everyone more confidence to talk about death. Who that professional is will often depend on the person you care for and who they have the most contact with, for example, their GP, a social care worker, or a palliative care nurse. Many ‘end of life’ conversations take place in hospital, yet there are massive variations on the part of medical staff as to how and when conversations about dying take place. Unless doctors and ward staff state very clearly that a patient is dying or is at high risk of dying relatives and carers are often left in limbo. Consent to share information can also prove to be a barrier to families getting the information they need to get an honest and accurate picture…

A person with a learning disability may need support to talk about death and dying or to make important decisions around their own end of life care. They may need additional help, specific to their communication needs, to ask questions and to make sure their wishes and preferences are recorded. ​A person with a learning disability in your family may also be involved in providing end of life care. Marie Curie has developed a number of easy read booklets that will help a person with a learning disability talk about death and provide support to someone with a terminal illness. For more information about talking with people with learning disabilities and end of life planning Professor Irene Tuffrey-Wijne talks further at Tuffrey-Wijne . …

. If the person has died at home, you can keep the body at home until the funeral if you choose, and the funeral director can help you look after the body there. You can also have the body cared for at the funeral home and you can visit them there. Things to think about If providing near end of life care… Although you will be feeling very emotional, the person’s death must be confirmed by a doctor or health professional trained to formally verify death within two to three hours. This is called ‘verifying the death’. If the person dies at home and there is no health care professional qualified to verify death present at the time of death then you will need to ring the person’s GP surgery. The regular GP who has treated them during their illness and visited them during their last two weeks of life will check if the person has died. It is best not to move the body or any equipment…

, or the funeral director, can talk to the staff at the crematorium to ensure the setting is right, particularly if you have special requests. How to choose music and readings? Music is likely to be an important part of the ceremony before, during, and at the end as people leave. This can be religious… and prepare them for what to expect. In relation to the funeral there are a number of ways in which to help them: Tell the child what to expect at a funeral . Give the child the choice about whether to attend or not. We may feel we want to protect them and keep them away but often, later in life…

to religious music may bring comfort. An outline of spiritual and religious practices (PDF) relating to end of life care and different faiths. Things to think about Talk to the person about the importance of your relationship with them. If caring for a parent you may want to share how they have influenced the course of your life. If you are a grandchild you can let your grandparent know how much they have meant to you. If you are a friend you can talk about how you have valued years of support and friendship. Family and friends who can’t be present could send a recording of what they would… The person you care for may have spiritual needs that are just as important as their physical needs. These may not be religious concerns as such but might include finding meaning in one’s life and ending disagreements with others. The person might find peace by resolving unsettled issues…

Difficulties with breathing are a common experience as the person approaches the end of life. The doctor may refer to this as dyspnoea. Breathing difficulties may make conversation with the person much harder. Very near death, the person might have very noisy breathing but this is not usually… information and equipment can be given. Ask if a special mattress or chair cushion might help. Digestive problems Nausea, vomiting, constipation, and loss of appetite are common issues at the end of life. The causes and treatments for these symptoms are varied, so talk to a doctor or nurse right away… important than eating. But you may find the person even stops drinking and this may be a further indication of the end of life approaching. For further information on how to manage swallowing difficulties and guidance on mouth care. For details of what to expect when someone is approaching the end…