Children and bereavement

You may find it very difficult to know what to say to children and young people in your family about the death of a person close to them. A child's reaction to death will vary depending on how close they were to the person, the age of the child, and whether the death was sudden or expected. What is common to all children and young people, however, is the need to feel included in what's happening and having the opportunity to talk and try to make sense of what has happened.

1. Be open and honest with children in your family, using age-appropriate language and avoiding soft phrases such as gone to sleep. Children may otherwise think the person is coming back.
2. Answer all their questions about the death even though this may feel difficult.
3. Listen to the child's own perception of the death, and reassure them if they appear to blame themselves in any way.
4. Show your own emotions. This is how children learn to grieve – by observing adults' reactions to death.
5. Allow children to absorb information in bite-size pieces and expect them to keep asking the same questions. Going over information can be very reassuring to them.
6. If you are worried about your child, seek professional advice and support, for example from a GP or a local bereavement organisation such as Jigsaw or Winston's Wish
7. Look after yourself. Only by looking after yourself can you be of support to a child.

For further guidance and advice on how to talk to a child about death and things that you can do to make a difference see YoungMinds.