Dealing with sudden death

Coping with bereavement is difficult when death is expected, but if the death is sudden it is even harder to deal with. A sudden death might be the result of:

1. A murder.
2. Road or other accident.
3. Heart attack (which is also the second highest cause of death after cancer).
4. Drug or alcohol overdose.
5. Suicide.

It may be that the person you were caring for was terminally ill and receiving long-term care, but their death occurs in a way that seems sudden and unexpected to you. Perhaps the person you cared for died after a few weeks when they were expected to live for several months.

Whatever the nature of the death, if you have experienced a person close to you dying suddenly you are likely to be experiencing a tsunami of emotions and a raft of extra dimensions of grief including the following:

1. Shock, leading to numbness, disbelief, and despair.
2. Guilt at being the one alive, or blaming yourself in some way.
3. Anxiety, panic attacks, and emotional exhaustion.
4. Extended crying and sobbing.
5. Inability to sleep or nightmares.
6. Desperation to see the person you cared for again.
7. Irrational thoughts.
8. Inability to eat or concentrate, loss of interest in life.

Be aware that you may experience different emotions at different times, and may change suddenly and unexpectedly. This can be exhausting and very challenging, especially if you are at work, with a group of people, or in a public place. Let people around you know that your emotions may be unpredictable and ask them to be understanding and supportive.

Here is more information on how to cope with sudden death, including a leaflet on coping with grief when someone you love dies suddenly.